Pants 0. Shit 1.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
