It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
