Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
