hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
