Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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