Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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