there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so let's talk penis.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
