i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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