Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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