it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
