Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
