I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
