i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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