she looked like the before picture.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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