Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
