I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
