I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
