i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
