i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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