Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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