After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
