Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it's like iHOP with fire
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
