Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
