she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
