i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
