I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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