Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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