I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
