why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
