Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
