I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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