Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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