Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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