just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
