come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
