she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
