I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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