just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
