Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Vodka?
Forever.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
