We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
