we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
