i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
