Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
