similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
