The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
