I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
