What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
