he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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