i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
