i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
