he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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