Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
