I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
